As I try to think about what to do in a current confusing situation it occurs to me that anytime you are trying to do something besides what is in the dominant paradigm people might:
1. Think you are crazy.
2. Secretly think you are right, but loudly say you are crazy because they feel guilty but don’t want to change.
3. Admit you are right but be unwilling to change and eventually stop being friends with you because it’s uncomfortable.
People who come up against a truth, internalize it and act on it (the ones who choose option 4) are few and far between, and to be earnestly and persistently sought out as friends. I wish that I could be that person all the time. I would say that I am a fairly changeable person…’impressionable’ is the word my husband J. would use to describe me. I say things out loud just to hear what they sound like, and then I am willing to change my position if given good helpful feedback. Example:
“Blueberries are the BEST fruit. They have lots of antioxidants and are completely delicious.”
“But Kate, strawberries are delicious too, and bigger so you don’t have to eat as many to get a serving!”
“Okay…strawberries are the BEST fruit!” or on my better days “Maybe strawberries and blueberries are both good for different reasons!”
Having this personality trait is a good thing and a bad thing. I am able to incorporate information fairly quickly into my brain and my lifestyle. However, because of the way I state things, I come off as much more opinionated than I actually am. I have been working (with the help of the most patient J. and other helpful, lovely friends) to be more clear about what I mean. So, if I need to process something to figure out what I think about it, I try to say that’s what I am doing. I find that helps me not to put people off as quickly as I consistently used to.